Stressed? Nervous? Anxious? I know the feeling all too well.
I vividly recall mornings where I felt paralyzed with fear and did not want to leave my bed. Sometimes anxiety would grip me so bad that I would literally be shaking or twitching a little bit. It also increased my insomnia, and I developed dark circles under my eyes from not being able to sleep well for days on end. Stress and anxiety are physiological killers. They cripple us emotionally, which in turn affects us physically.
Studies continue to show that we are the most medicated country in the world for stress and anxiety. And so many of us turn to harmful substances and addictions in an attempt to cope with our nerves. I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes daily, but during prolonged times of stress, even a pack would not suffice. I also used to drink alcohol to deal with stress.
There is a glaringly obvious problem with utilizing harmful, addictive substances for stress, and yet is often swept under the rug: not only do the substances not cure the stress, but they harm you physically and emotionally.
Smoking never solved my anxiety, but what it certainly did accomplish was harm my lungs, strip me of my self-confidence, and prolong my stress. Drinking never cured my worrying, but what it definitely succeeded in was making me run from my problems, give me massive headaches, and rob me of my self-worth. Rather than deal with stress in a proactive way and grow stronger from it, I turned to substances which only harmed me physically and emotionally, and thus if anything, just made things worse in the long run.
This is not a full-on treatise or diagnosis on stress and anxiety, and by no means is it intended to be exhaustive; rather, consider it a very basic primer, from my own personal experience, on easy-to-practice and proven methods for dealing with, and overcoming, stress and anxiety. These seven ways are much more effective and 100% less harmful than substances for stress and anxiety relief. Chapters could be written on each, but for now, just a nutshell synopsis will suffice.
1. Work out / engage in physical activities: Studies show that working out actually gets our endorphins in motion, which are the feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain causing us to feel good. You literally get a natural buzz from doing it, aiding in reducing stress while also getting you healthy and confident. Working out is now my default thought when stressed, whereas before it was smoking or drinking. Now, when I feel anxiety, my first thought is to go for a jog or a nice walk and even just some basic pushups. Martial arts or cardio workouts are great for reducing stress. The basic idea is, break a sweat when you feel some stress. As the sweat increases, the stress decreases.
2. Talk to a friend / loved one: If I am feeling a rush of anxiety, I will call a close friend up, or my brother, or one of my parents, or a trusted relative, or I?ll just go for a walk with my wife and talk/vent to her. I have noticed it is very therapeutic and healing to do this, to vocalize to another individual what you are thinking and feeling. You may just want the other person to listen, or you may be looking for constructive feedback. Either way, it is a healthy way to deal with stress and worry.
3. Deep breathing: A proven and effective method for dealing with stress when it hits. The beauty of it is it can be done anywhere and anytime. I practice this frequently now whenever I start to feel worried or overwhelmed, and it always helps. Simply inhale a deep breath in through your nose (as your stomach inflates) and count to four as you do it. Then hold it for four seconds, and then slowly release for four seconds. Relax afterwards for four seconds, and then repeat. Do these as often as needed and whenever needed. The basic rule is 4-4-4-4. Deep breathing regulates and neutralizes heart beats when you?re feeling anxious.
4. Focus on the present moment, and accept reality: Jesus had it right when he said not to worry about tomorrow, and rather just focus on today. If you?re stressed about something in the past, accept that it is over and dwelling on it does not change anything about it. If you?re stressed about something in the future, accept that it has not happened yet, and all the stress in the world won?t change it anyways. All that stress can do is rob you of joy and peace in the present moment. Be very attentive to the Here and Now. A retreat experience can be simply gazing at clouds or birds, or even just harnessing your thoughts and energy towards a task at hand. Remind yourself constantly that whatever you are stressing about will pass in time, and life will move on. It is entirely up to you with how you want to proceed.
5. Prayer / Meditation: Prayer and meditation both aid in focusing on the present moment, and letting go of past stress or anticipated future worry. However, it also grounds you a bit and provides the much-needed reminder that you belong to something much bigger and greater than yourself. It helps to put your stress and worry into a larger perspective. It also connects you to the life-force/energy/grace/power of the Divine. Harness your thoughts and prayers towards sentiments of gratitude and thanksgiving. Focusing on what you are grateful for is another proven way to bring serenity and peace and stillness to a troubled heart.
6. Help Another Person: From my own personal experience, observing the needs of another person or group helps to take your mind temporarily off of your issues, and gear your energy towards the issues of another. It also provides the much-needed reminder that there are always people going through harder things than you are. Sometimes I am going through anxiety, and then I reflect on a friend who is currently in the hospital and remember that he needs my help. Anxiety robs me of my strength and energy and creativity in helping out others. So for the sake of a friend in need, I focus on his issues for the time being, and naturally my own anxiety begins to fade into the sunset. I also have had moments where I am dealing with stress, then approach a homeless man and engage him in conversation about life. Within a few minutes, I am much more focused on his issues rather than my own.
7. Listen to Bob Marley: Yes, believe it or not, music has therapeutic healing attached to it. Our emotions are connected to sounds which move the heart. You may have your own preferred genre of music that calms you down, and whichever it is, go to it during times of stress. I actually have several different ones, but more often than not, I will find myself listening to Bob Marley music. Something psychological about ?Don?t worry about a thing, cause every little thing?s gonna be alright?; it always seems to help.
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